Ballroom Dancing and Life and A Little More By Elita Sohmer Clayman

Dancing for the Meat Bones

When I was a little girl of about seven, I would go with Momma to the various stores for the food items. There was a grocery store, small and compact where we got the necessities and the fruits and vegetables called Shapiro’s Mart. There was the butcher shop where we got the meat for the week. There were no freezers yet until I was about twelve. The butcher shop was called Rodman’s and Mr. R was a nice and elderly man. Momma would give her list and then she would say, "Can you throw in some meat bones" and very meekly say "not charge me for them."
Mr. Rodman would say only if the little one (meaning me) will dance for me. Momma must have bragged once to him that I liked to tap dance in the solitude of our home. I had no tap shoes, no routines, and no lessons and so I made up my own steps. No one saw me do it except Momma and sometimes Dad. My brother Herbert was five years older than me and was in high school and he would have probably laughed at my dancing. So Mr. R told me he would give Momma the bones free and I pretended to know what I was doing and did my one minute routine. He clapped and gave Momma the wonderful bones for free so she could make good vegetable soup.
Things financially were very tight in those days and Momma even went to work part time in an office to help with the finances. Mr. Shapiro’s food store was in the basement of a house across the street from our row home and the butcher shop was up the street from him. There were no malls in those days, all the department stores were located downtown on two or three blocks and that is where we went to do clothes and shoe shopping. So you got to know your merchants because they were a stone’s throw from your home and they were like your neighbors. They also lived not very far from their businesses and often walked to their shops.
So I thought myself a star because I danced for Mr. Rodman and got Momma the free meat bones. As I got a bit older, I declined going with her to Mr. R and Mr. S’s stores. I wanted to be more independent and Momma went herself to do the shopping. We could not afford tap dancing lessons, though we did take piano lessons. The reason being for that was that the piano teacher was Aunt Bessie and she was married to my father’s brother. He owed my dad lots of money from loans Dad had made when Dad was prosperous and he never paid Dad back. So Aunt Bessie gave my brother and I "free" piano lessons as kind of some sort of payment. When you look back, it was a meager payout for lots of money owed. My brother and I did not like Aunt Bessie and did not like the lessons.
I played the piano better than I tap danced because of course, I had professional coaching.
When I was about fourteen, we moved to an apartment house and on the first floor there was a ballet school. It was run my Miss Ellen Gniadowski and I would peer in to see all the little girls in their ballerina costumes being coached and groomed by Miss Ellen. She seemed to be a caring and considerate teacher and I kind of envied the little ones learning from her. She was so different than Aunt Bessie that I was really jealous that Miss Ellen had not owed my Dad money and then we could have gotten free ballet lessons.
So I had a little bit of knowledge of tap dancing, a little bit of seeing ballet and lots of piano learning and practicing. I saw that teachers like Miss Ellen can make a difference in a child’s life rather than teachers like Aunt Bessie. Aunt Bessie knew she was giving us coaching as a somewhat payout for her husband’s loans and as a duty also. She did not care to instill in us the desire, the love, the caring for the piano. As Miss Ellen was very caring to her little girls, always encouraging them and telling them they were doing well. I could hear her do this through the open door and the hallway as I would go up the stairs to our apartment. I loved Miss Ellen even though I only waved at her and she finally knew my name because we were tenants in the same building. I never asked Momma to give me ballet lessons because I knew that we could still not afford even the small prices Miss Ellen charged.
One day, Miss Ellen was going into her downstairs studio and she saw me staring into the glass window. She said that I should come in and watch the girls for a while. I ran upstairs and told Momma where I would be and I was enchanted viewing these lovely youngsters learning ballet. Miss Ellen, we heard, had been an
up and coming ballerina and gave it up to marry and to have children. This was her way of continuing on with something she loved and still she had a home life with her husband and daughters. I told Miss Ellen that someday I would do dancing when I was older and could afford it.
Miss Ellen said she was sure I would accomplish this. She said no matter when you start, it will not be too late. So I heeded Miss Ellen and my husband and I started ballroom dance lessons when I was forty-two and he was forty-six. I always remember Miss Ellen versus Aunt Bessie. Miss Ellen was a delightful coach, an admiring friend and a competent human being. She instilled in these young and hopeful ballet students that they could handle and accomplish anything they wanted. At the end of the sessions, twice a year, she had a recital.
So the moral of this story is that a good coach is also a good friend. A good friend will nurture you and encourage you and be proud of you. So as Mr. Rodman thought I was a good tap dancer and he knew nothing at all about it, he still encouraged a little girl to dream and think she could tap dance. I thought I was special because Momma got her free meat bones to make a special veggie soup and I dreamed I could dance. Miss Ellen made these girls think they could do and would do better if they practiced and came for their lessons. The Aunt Bessies of this world only go about and do their jobs because they have to or need to and they never reach the heights of being called a great friend or teacher. The Miss Ellens of this world are the spirit that makes our children feel high up unto the sky and these children go on to achieve and accomplish and become happy citizens.
So hopefully, we can all be more like the Miss Ellens than the old biddy Aunt Bessies. We can encourage our children, our friends, and even our senior citizens that there is always time to learn something new, to appreciate the new things we learn and to help others accomplish their dreams. Whether the dreams are even out of our reach, we can lift ourselves up high on an imaginary step stool and grab them and enjoy them and love them. When my grandson Brock was about six or seven, he let a balloon given to him by the restaurant where we had eaten lunch, fly high into the heavens. He said it was for my mother (his great grand mom) to hold onto while she was in Heaven. So we should all hold onto something that is very high up and try to achieve it whether we are six, sixty or older. Hold onto your dreams and they will come true because the Miss Ellens are right here alongside of us encouraging and are proud of us.
Keep on Dancing
Elita Sohmer Clayman

Losing Weight, Ballroom Dancing and Being Age 77 With All Of This by Elita Sohmer Clayman
[Edit Blog details]
Write a Blog post

Give Somebody A Chance Elita Sohmer Clayman July 5, 2011
Edit, Remove
Sunday, July 03, 2011

Tomorrow July 5th, 2011 will be my (our) 51 celebration years of marriage. Can you believe if I tell you that after losing now 32 pounds since March 21, 2011 at Weight Watchers I can fit in if I wanted to my wedding white dress from that date.

It has been a long time since I can say that. It is a nice, rather a fantastic feeling.

We met on a blind date, I dislike that word because my mother had a brother and a sister who were both born blind and that is not a sweet word to use for a date.
However, he received my name and phone number from a fellow he knew who had taken me out for half of a date. What is half of a date, it means when you do not like that person and you make up an excuse to go home early. I met that 1/2 date fellow through a young man my boss had hired where I worked in 1952. He was hired in about 1955 because I who was an assistant to the CEO of a large printing plant urged the boss Meyer to give him a chance. His name was Irvin and the boss did not want to hire him because he was Jewish. Now Meyer was not an anti Semite, he was Jewish himself and just thought that a young Jewish fellow would want his own business one day and after being trained as a printer would leave as soon as he got competent in the business to start his own plant.

I said to Meyer, give him a chance. We had taken him to lunch for a lunch interview at a delly called Attmans. I was impressed by his desire to learn a trade and he was getting married to Renee soon and needed a job immediately. If I tell you,his salary was about $2.00 per hour with about 20 hours of time and a half overtime, giving him probably about $140.00 per week before taxes. Meyer kept resisting and I who was about 21 at that time was already a very wise and intelligent observer of people.These were my words that got Irvin hired. "Meyer, how are you as a Jewish young man yourself not give a fellow Jewish person a chance at a new job. You and your buddies just have launched a new synagogue in our neighborhood and here you will not hire a person of your faith."

He looked at this young girl of 21 and he said OK.The rest is history. Irvin and I became dear platonic friends and after he married Renee, he invited me to his home for dinner many weekends. On one such night, I met his friend who I shall call Zachary and I went out on a terrible time 1/2 date and never again would that happen with him.

He was the one who gave Jerry (my husband now of 51 years) my name and number. He told him I would probably be 'easy' because I was quite pretty and I had a blond streak in my dark brown hair. In those days, not many girls did that,
now everybody has different colors in their hair for beauty sake-young and old.

I use to pay $5 dollars to have it done in the hair salon and it was quite outstanding.When Jerry told me on the phone that Z had given him my name, I told him for 3 consecutive phone calls, no, I was busy. Mom standing in the kitchen where the one phone we had in those lean days said after the third call "give him a chance, just because he knows Z does not make him a jerk too."

So to quiet mom, I said yes and the rest is love history as I call it. We went out two nights in a row and after a few months of dating ( he was going to pharmacy school), I had his high school ring on my left finger which then was the first step of several rings leading to an engagement ring and marriage on Tuesday July 5, 1960.

So the moral of this story, if you believe in something like I saw the potential in Irvin coming to work for us and you also listen to your mommie, life will change for the beautiful and you will be and should be happy.

We have a son, daughter, daughter-in-law, son-in-law and 3 grandsons and one granddaughter. So one became two, then three, four, five, six and one grandchild at a time and our family starting with Elita, then Jerry is now 10.

From a young woman's intuition on a young man and his hiring,love has
encompassed my life for 51 years plus almost 3 more dating.

Go and ballroom dance regardless of your age.

It is never too late to learn to ballroom dance whether you are 8 or 88. A lady I know who read my articles on ballroom dance for seniors started to take ballroom dance lessons at age 79.5. Those were her words. She had been depressed because her husband was in a nursing home for 20 years and she needed a social atmosphere to continue to live. She took a few group lessons and this developed into private lessons.

She even had the desire to take from Ron Montez who is a brilliant former dance champion and now teaches and choreographs dancing for shows and groups. She had so much fun and her energy increased and her life developed into something meaningful.

She credited my articles with instilling in her the desire and the ability to try.

There are many forms of learning and some quite inexpensive. You should tru to find a group lesson at a desirable dance studio.The group lessons usually cost about 10-15 dollars per hour and you are mixed in with other people learning to dance. Then if you really can afford it, later on you could take some private lessons meaning you and your partner or you alone with the teacher for one hour. This usually costs different amounts depending in what city you reside. It could be like here in Baltimore, Maryland perhaps 50 dollars per hour or 60 dollars per hour or more or less depending on the locale.

Try it, not only will it stimulate your body, your mind and most of all your soul.


There is a Japanese custom done upon someone getting married. The groom has to make 1001 paper cranes that he folded and this is an act of traditional love which will insure the bride and groom a long life of happiness. I know someone who had to do this before his wedding. He himself is half Japenese and half Caucasian and his bride all Caucasian.

When I saw the 1001 cranes, I was overwhelmed at other possibilities that these cranes could mean to anyone regardless of their nationality. This could mean a long life no matter how old you are at the present time and this could be encompasing a happy life of doing new things in new moments.

Ballroom dancing for the average person is not what it appears on Dancing With The Stars. That is all non reality. Real reality is real living and real living helps us to be happy in whatever we do. DWTS is pure nonsense because no one in life takes seven hours or so of learning to dance six days a week. We take one hour a week to start and maybe two hours after a few months depending on our money situation which in the present day is not a lot for many folks. So ballroom dancing is a luxury and we have to incorporate it into our budget. So seven hour days with high prices professional dance teachers is out of our realm.

DWTS should not deter new folks to think they cannot dance because these stars make plenty of money from the sponsors of the show to even enter into the show itself. The longer the amateur stays on the show, the more money he receives.

When we enter the ballroom dance world to learn to dance at any age, we do it for our self confidence and for our happiness and also for our health.



There is a saying that anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It only empties today of its strength. Let us fill our today with strength and tomorrow with more strength and endurance and happiness. Elita Sohmer Clayman